A Tea Party Christmas Carol

A CHRISTMAS CAROL

The Tea Party Republican Version

Jacob Marley is sitting at his desk in when Mr. Scrooge tells him he will have to work on Christmas day.

“Please Mr. Scrooge I want to visit my son in the hospital” said Jacob.

“I’m sorry, you are way behind on your work and need to get caught up so you will work” yelled Mr. Scrooge.

Later that night Ebenezer laid his head down and went to sleep in his nice silk sheets watching his gigantic big screen plasma television. He was awoken by the sounds of rattling chains, to his surprise there was a pale white ghost floating over his bed. After catching his breath the ghost pointed at him and said “you will be visited by three ghosts this night, the past, the present and the future”.

Ebenezer was rattled and could not get back to sleep so he called down to his kitchen and asked the maid if she would make him something to eat. While he sit waiting for his late night snack the window blew open and a young ghost appeared, he grabbed Mr. Scrooge and yanked him out the window. They stopped outside a small home with a beautiful family getting ready to go on a vacation.

“What is this?” asked a startled Ebenezer Scrooge

“I am the ghost of Capitalism past” replied the ghost, “This is what life was like before the great Sir Ronald Reagan rode into town on his horse and freed the rich and oppressed from their shackles”. He continued to explain to Ebenezer that before Reagan families lived a nice life and could afford homes, cars and even family vacations and all with one parent working. The ghost pointed out how simple life was then, how the rich still had a large share of money but the poor and working class where not hurting and could afford the things they needed to live a good life. He then returned Ebenezer to his bedroom just in time for the maid to bring him a late night sandwich.

Upon finishing up his sandwich the walls rattled and a second ghost appeared “I am the ghost of capitalism present” the ghost cried out. He took Ebenezer by the hand and whisked him away to what appeared to be the child ward of a hospital.

“What’s this that you are showing me?” Mr. Scrooge yelled with anger in his voice. “Just watch and see” the ghost of capitalism present snapped back.

As they watched Jacob Marley came in and hugged the feeble young women who was sitting over the hospital bed of what appeared to be a sick child. He explained to his wife and children that he will not be attending their Christmas dinner because his mean old boss has to make him work. Shortly after a beautiful busty nurse came in and explained to the family that the insurance company approved surgery and that their little boy would survive and live a full and healthy life but will have to spend the rest of his life on expensive medications. The nurse left the room and the family decided they could go without eating a few days a week if it meant their son would life, or if need be Jacob would get a 4^th job to help pay the bills.

With that Mr. Scrooge found himself back in his bedroom and was feeling sad and depressed
 for what he had just seen, just then a third ghost appeared saying he was the ghost of capitalism future and reached for Ebenezer who pulled back and said “I don’t think that I can take any more of this”. The ghost grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him away. They ended up in a nice home with a car in the driveway.
“Whose house is this?” asked Mr. Scrooge as he looked on.

The ghost pointed to Mr. Marley getting out of his car as his children ran out and gave him a hug, Mr. Scrooge even noticed the small boy from the hospital who appeared to be on his death bed. Jacob reached in the back seat and pulled out presents for everyone and handed the gift to the once sick boy and said “Tim this one is for you”.

“How is this possible?” asked Ebenezer Scrooge as he looked on in amazement. The ghost pointed out that after winning re-election President Obama raised taxes on the richest Americans and helped bring down the income gap in America while providing health care to every American so that a father could care for his children and didn’t have to worry about losing everything if he or his wife got sick.

“That is amazing, so if I pay just a little more in taxes this country could be a beautiful place again and the American dream will thrive?” asked Ebenezer “But I though you where the ghost of capitalism and that seems like socialism.”

The ghost said this was only one choice, then he showed him the same family sitting around a grave crying. “What is this you are showing me now” asked Mr. Scrooge with a sad look on his face. The ghost explained this is the future if he chooses to move his company to China where he can find cheaper workers and expand his company. With him gone Jacob lost his insurance and could not find any that would help his son because they called his sickness a pre-existing condition and would not cover it. Jacob would lose his house and all his possessions while trying to find the money for his sons surgery and would ultimately be unable to save the life of Tiny Tim. His wife would leave him and he would have one son in the ground and never be able to see the other 2 until he drinks himself to death.

“That’s Horrible” exclaimed Mr. Scrooge “why would I put this poor family thought this”? The ghost handed him a bank slip showing him how much money he would have if he moved to China. Then told Ebenezer “remember that nubile young nurse who was taking care of Tim while in the hospital”?. Ebenezer nodded his head as the ghost said “That would be your new wife”.

Christmas morning came and Ebenezer Scrooge walked to the desk of Jacob Marley and informed him that today would be his last day as the company is moving overseas and he will greatly be missed.

　
　
　

My Constitutional Amendment

They are trying to change the constitution to add a balanced budget amendment, while it’s a good idea it will do nothing to fix Washington and the real problem - CORRUPT POLITIANS. Instead of a balanced budget amendment how about one that reforms the real problem. If I was to change the constitution it would be to add the following.

Elections day every two years will be a national holiday so everyone has the chance to vote and no laws will be passed that will prevent even 1 person who is of legal age from voting. Presidential elections must have a standard ballot as it is for the highest office in the land and for a national office so standards and ballot should be same for everyone.

Elected officials will have term limits with Congress getting a maximum of 3 terms in office, senate and president getting 2 terms in office max.

Any new legislation must be posted at least 72 hours before a vote is taken and all politicians that have received money from any company or companies involved in legislation must make public within 24 hours of casting their vote the amount of money they have received as from said organizations including campaign donations, lobbying money or any money they have invested in the companies. The public needs to know if there is a reason said politicians are voting the way they are other then the “public” interest.
Supreme Court judges must make public any gifts of cash or property they have received from anyone who has or may have a case before the court. These judges will be held to the same legal standard as all other federal judges and can be removed from the bench if they break ethics or federal laws.

Any politician is not allowed to lobby the government for a period of 10 years after leaving office nor allowed to work for any company they regulate while in office for a period of 2 years. If a politician goes to work for any company they have regulated or supported legislation that may have benefited said company then a full review must be done by an independent council if any favors where exchanged.

Finally politicians shall only be paid the average median income of the American workers and any pay increases and benefit increases shall be put up for vote by We The People who are the true employers of said politicians. In time of war politicians shall not have a higher yearly salary then soldiers who they have voted to send to war and must either increase the soldiers pay to match theirs or take pay cut to match the soldiers. Each politicians will be given one paid intern except the three leaders in each party who may have up to 5 paid employees, any other interns or employees shall not be paid. Each politician will be allotted a certain amount of money to pay travel expenses or any other fees associated with their job and if they exceed that amount are responsible to compensate the American Tax Payer.

Class Wars

Since America ended the draft it has been mostly poor and middle class kids who have joined the military and fought the wars that have helped make many people rich. While companies like Halliburton and people like Dick Cheney have made record profits off of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan the men and women who volunteered to join the military are coming home to find they have no jobs or prospects for the future.

The brave men and women of the United States Armed Forces are used as pawns by the rich and powerful, not for the best interest of America but for the best interest of their wallets. After September 11^th 2001 many young men and women joined the military to fight terrorists and the people who attacked us on that horrible day. These men and women where taken advantage of and their patriotism was used against them, they joined to fight the men who attacked us and instead where used to personal gains.

A young man by the name of Pat Tillman gave up millions of dollars to play in the NFL and jointed the military and was sadly killed in action. It was a tragedy that this young man lost his life but that was just the beginning, his death was exploited by the military to help get more patriotic people to join the army. To this day we still do not know what happened to Mr. Tillman and his poor family had to fight for the little information they did receive. We learned that he was not killed by terrorists but died by friendly fire, rather then release this information the military exploited his death for their own gains.

These brave soldiers risking their lives to keep America safe and free do so for little pay, they receive a lot less then contractors like Halliburton and KBR make. KBR is a company who gets paid billions of dollars to do jobs that our military should be doing, and in some cases they are responsible for the deaths of about a dozen American soldiers. Instead of paying these war profiteers billions of dollars to do the jobs of soldiers we should just pay the fighting men more while on active duty. The soldiers have to live by a code of conduct while the contractors can run rough shot over the country and not be held accountable. Then when the soldiers come home they are having a hard time finding jobs or are suffering mental illness and many end up homeless. We ask these people to lay down their lives for a country that turns their back on them as soon as they return home.

Why do I mention these things? The military is made up of brave men and women who do it for pride and their love of this country and not for the money. People sitting in comfy offices making five times what soldiers do are the ones who decide where and when they go and for what reasons they might lose their lives. Soldiers do their job, the don’t complain because what they are doing is what they believe is best for America. They are willing to give their lives for America but rich and powerful people are not willing to give up another 3% of their income to help keep America running. It’s ok for hard working people to lay down their lives just don’t ask the wealthy to pay a little more? Even worse to help keep the few extra dollars in the pockets of the few the republicans have decided they need to cut the benefits of the soldiers that they move around like chess pieces.

If the rich want to keep their 3% tax break then they should strap on a gun and go fight for it, stop attacking soldiers, teachers, police and firefighters and blaming them for everything that is wrong with this country. It is these hard working people who built this great nation, I never saw a rich person paving a road or putting on a police uniform. When we speak up about the people who have gotten rich off the backs of others it’s called “class warfare” but the truth is that for 30 years it’s been a genocide and the poor are finally standing up and fighting back.

The occupy movement is the people wanting their voices heard, we don’t have the money to buy a politician or judge. All we want is equality, time to take away all the breaks that rich people get and even the playing field. Exxon should be receiving billions of dollars in taxpayer money while paying little or no taxes themselves, stop bailing out the banks of America if you are going to let the middle class lose everything. We should reinstate Glass Steagall act, it kept America working for over 50 years after the great depression and only took 8 years after it was repealed to bring down the country again. Finally we need to get the money out of politics, when you have John Boehner handing out checks from tobacco companies on the floor of congress while they are voting on tobacco issues shows how corrupt politicians are. Until you separate money and politics you will have class warfare and the middle class will always come out the losers.