Sunday, May 26, 2013

How to Spot a Conservative

I usually post a blog once a month or less often, they’re usually political and based in fact unless your conservative then they’re all fact based lies. I need a laugh so going to try something different this time.

How to Tell a Conservative from a Liberal

 

If you think giving a poor person money for food is welfare but giving Exxon a tax break for drilling a hole isn’t --- you are conservative

If you think Barack Obama is a big spending, big government socialist while George Bush and Ronald Reagan were small government frugal spenders === You are Conservative

If one of your arguments against universal healthcare is having to wait in line for your Viagra so a mom can get a cancer screening === You are Conservative

If you think Obama needs investigated for 4 dead Americans in Benghazi but asking questions about 9/11 or Iraq War makes you “Un-American” === You are Conservative

If you think selling weapons to Iran and funding terrorists is fine but getting a blowjob should get you fired ---- you are a conservative

If you think forcing a women to have a brain dead baby while supporting the death penalty, war and taking food from children and seniors makes you “Pro-Life” ==== You are a Conservative

If you think “Just say no” so the black man can’t get credit for anything is a governing policy -- You are a Conservative

If you go to a meeting and can identify people while they’re wearing hoods --- You Might Be Conservative

If you claim to be for smaller government and smaller deficits but vote republican anyway --- You are Conservative

If you blame Democrats for everything that happen the first day in office but give Bush a pass for 9/11 -- You are a Conservative

If you blame Obama for everything bad from his first day in office but give Bush credit for the death of Bin Laden === You are a Conservative

If you think Obama is not an American but support Ted Cruz (born in Canada) or Marco Rubio (father here illegally for a while) are great Americans === You are a Conservative

If you think teachers have it to nice while you make 180,000.00 a year and only work 12 days --- You are a conservative (and an asshole)

If you think military people in harms way, seniors who worked for 50 years, and people working 40hrs a week while making 12K a year are moochers because they pay no taxes --- You are a Conservative

If you live in a trailer park but vote republican because you someday “might be rich” - You are a conservative

If you get less votes and only win because of rigged districts but think it means America likes your ideas -- You Might Be a Conservative

If your presidential candidate gets less votes in 5 out of 6 election and you think it’s the message not the policies === you are a conservative

If you think taking birth control makes you a slut --- you are a conservative

If you’re talking about how pro-life you are while driving your mistress to get an abortion so the wife doesn’t find out --- you are a conservative

If you think democrats should resign because they took a picture in their underwear but republicans shouldn’t be ashamed of visiting prostitutes --- you are a conservative

If you think Fox News is Fair, Balanced or Honest -- you are a conservative

If you think Fox News is “liberal” -- You’re just F#cking crazy

If you think building a fence to keep the brown people out is a must but leaving an open border up north so the white people can get in is ok --- You are a Conservative

If you promote abstinence while having 2 children with kids outside of marriage --- You’re Sarah Palin

If you’ve every said “He’s to educated” --- You are a conservative

If you think we need to restrict the first amendment to protect the second -- You are a conservative

If you think George Bush is a war hero for invading Iraq but John Kerry is a coward for speaking out against Vietnam --- you are a conservative

If you’ve ever used the excuse “I had better things to do” as a reason you dodged the military draft --- you are a conservative

If you think having a better life then your parents means having more money - you are a conservative

If you think a better life means finding love and friends and being happy - you are a liberal

If you think 3.00 for a gallon of gas is way to high but have no problem spending 3.29 for a bottle of water -- you may be a conservative

If you think oil pipelines, coal factories, fracking, pollution, landfills have no effect on the environment -- you are a conservative

If you don’t want to leave your kids debt but have no problem leaving them dirty air and polluted water --- you are a conservative

If your head of ethics is a guy convicted of auto theft and the main suspect in an arson/insurance fraud scheme -- you might be a conservative

If you put people on the science committee who think vaccines make your kids “retarded” and the bible is a history book -- you are a conservative
If you form an anti tax group after the black president cuts your taxes to lowest level in 50 years -- you are a conservative

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Why Republican investigations are a complete sham and a witch hunt

It would be funny the fake outrage at these ginned up scandals being placed on President Obama if so many people didn’t believe everything the corporate media told them. Yes some are a big deal but the same party who is holding witch hunts now had no problem with them when it was a republican in the White House doing the exact same thing. Here’s a look at some of the “Obama Scandals”

 

Fast and Furious -

Tthe republicans claim that they knew nothing about gun running but in fact several of them including the lead investigator Darrell Issa voted for the program and again to fund the program. Why didn’t they call themselves to ask why they voted for the program and claimed they knew nothing about it. Nothing could be linked back to Obama so this quickly went away.

DOJ scandal

This one is simple, the republicans are giving up investigating this already and it’s being kept alive by Fox because one of their own was looked into. Republicans know that they can not link anything to Obama that the justice department does because they run independent of the White House. The DOJ keeps the president out of the loop in case the investigation leads back to the White House, the real scandal would have been if the President had known this was going on.

IRS targeting “Conservatives”

Yes this is a scandal if that’s what happened, how quickly republicans and conservative media forget that for 8 years George Bush used the IRS, CIA, FBI and Department of Justice to attack, investigate and harm anyone person or group that spoke out against him especially about the Iraq war or his war on terror. There was several accusations made that this was going on and republicans held no hearings because they wouldn’t investigate their own for the same thing. For 8 years liberal groups were audited, investigated by the CIA and FBI or worse if they were against the president, not to mention the right wing smear machine ruining the lives of Valerie Plame and The Dixie Chicks for not worshipping at the alter of the GOP.

Benghazi -

This is tragic and no matter how hard the GOP pushes or how often Fox gives false information they can not link it back to Hilary Clinton or Barack Obama and it’s driving them crazy. While it is tragic that this happened it’s not the first time including 200 Americans being killed in Lebanon and left to die under Reagan or several embassy attacks under Bush with 9 dead Americans and several foreign workers. None of those were investigated or blamed on anyone so what makes this president different then the 40+ before him?

I would have no problem with congressional investigations if

1. There were standards and the same thing investigated when a democrat did them would have been investigated when republicans did them. If Obama had authorized torture or destroyed emails, videos and other evidence after a federal judge ordered him not to he would have been impeached while Bush DID do those things and didn’t get investigated by republicans.

2. Darrell Issa was not in charge of ethics, the man has a shady past including car theft and is main suspect in his factory burning down so he could collect the huge insurance policy he had just taken out weeks before the fire. When the criminal is the judge you have to consider if it’s a fair hearing or not.

3. Republicans go on Fox and say things like “I have no proof but” or “I have a feeling” or my favorite “Obama knew I just can’t prove it yet”. This is before the investigations even started, the fact that they go in knowing what they want the outcome to be and dig, dig, dig until they try and find that outcome shows it’s corrupt to the core and 100% political. If they were honest they would go in with an open mind, ask questions then draw a conclusion and NOT go win with a conclusion then try to find the facts to verify their delusions.